There is this voice inside my heart that says:


"are you sure you want this? "

"don't give up ! "

constantly repeating like a thousand times.



After all that had happened why do i still feel unsure.. why am i fighting so hard to run.. why can't i just let nature take its course? why do i still get very affected? I thought i can do it but at the end of the day, the same old thing just keeps haunting me over and over again..

its obvious i know.

Guess what i need now?


beauty sleep
but a warm hug.


I AM NOT EMOING OKAY

I JUST FEEL VERY SIAN BECAUSE OF THOSE WORKLOAD THAT HAVE BEEN PILING UP LIKE A MOUNTAIN SINCE WEEK 1! (its week 7 now.) AND I CHUCKED THEM ASIDE. NOW I HAVE TO CATCH UP LIKE A TRAIN :(

serves me right!

sometimes a few words can send the message across clearly without having to beat around the bush and cooking up so many excuses.
at times i get so sick of it that i just shove them away. dont ask me why. if you had that shit before you should have known why.

Everything happens for a reason.


Nothing but still misses and it can only be that way because of so many reasons that has formed in the gap between us.
It is not going to be the same or different anymore. just a full stop because the lines are drawn so clearly that i dare not cross.

Now i have to get my grades back on track before its too late.

HAPPY MUGGING WEEK TO ALL .

:<

I wasted the whole day again.

I need food therapy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Had a good time at kylie's house yesterday :D
Foooood! yummiee :D some tasted not bad though.


The mj group. hahah feeeel so good touching the tiles :D


Wii group! They play wii very quiet one leh! i thought they are suppose to get high and scream ??


Time to cut cake. Everyone made a wish and blew the candles together :D



Renjen left earlier so no grp photo.. hope the next gathering everyone could make it (:








Things that i did to earn a smile on your face is not completely wasted, at least it stays in your heart and you know that someone once did that for you. Hope it brings back a smile whenever you reminisce those good old times.

In case you checked back and the comment is gone, its not. i have screened it and sent a reply to your email.

Now you can laugh. The next two weeks will be hell.




Trimmed eyebrows,
Shop Shop Shop,
Aijiteh for dinner,
Home sweet home
(:

love you guys!


“ This is for the broken-hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don’t want to laugh, because you know it’s not going to help, but you don’t want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it’s falling apart too. You don’t think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That’s the confusing part, you don’t know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you’re getting happy again, but you know inside that you’re just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you’re back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can’t help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn’t happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don’t know the true pain you feel and carry each and every day now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you’ve had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you’re to the point where you don’t care who see it. Because you’ve spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it’s not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, “It will be okay…” But you know it won’t. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You’re still hurt, but you’ve learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don’t hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this.. "

Credits to : poeticheartache.tumblr.com/

I will be okay. I know it.

Argh i am feeling super bored. Gonna be late for proj!

*SHIVERSSSSSS*

This is why i hate to bathe in the mornings.....
Its so cold!!!! and the air is pretty good :D

Drinking hot milo now to keep myself warm.

Oh its been ages since i drank hot milo at home...

okay back to work if not i will be dead!

"Everyone has that special someone in their life. Even if they don’t know they have that special person… they do. Someone special is someone who always listens to you and what you have to say. Someone special always makes you feel good about yourself and who you are. Sometimes special people come into our lives and we will never forget them. They make you cry and you are so upset you aren’t with them, but for some reason you still love them. There is something about that special someone that you can’t explain to anyone and they don’t understand. But I know and you know that true love never did run smooth and there is always a chance for everyone. Love is one of the hardest things and when you find that special someone, never ever give up cause someday your dream will come true. "

Quote it from ms's blog! :P

another one which i chanced upon,


"When things go wrong as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all up hill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.
Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out;
Don't give up though the pace seems slow--
You may succeed with another blow,
Success is failure turned inside out--
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It may be near when it seems so far;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit--
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit."

lastly,
One has to remember that every failure can be a stepping stone to something better.

(:

Hmmmm..... cheryl says this photo looks like i am emoing.. but i am smiling at the same time. so yeah idk.

but well.. it doesnt matter anymore. I had passed that stage and now i am moving on and starting afresh :D
Part and parcel of life and i am just glad that you made me realised some things that i guess i never would have if I had never met you. yeah. now its really time to say goodbye and this time its true. But somehow you are still as important and you are still the last person that i think of when i sleep and the 1st person that came to my mind when i am awake (: okaaaaaa enough of all these.

Time to put on the geeky specs and start mugging. MST in 2 weeks time and there is no study break. argh.

But its okay i gotta enjoy myself for 9days in Aust after MST week! yays.


Gotta change new specs soon. btw that one is choo's. (look below)



Loved by her HAHA. si xq you shld just die.



I am so proud of myself today because i did not make a rash decision... only i know what it is :D

I feel freaking tired now.. spent the last 6 and a half hours doing the itab ppt slides which is due tmr. oh well last min work and i didnt pay much attention in class. This ppt is only 10% and i think its quite a lot of marks because its easy to score.. but well i did my favorite festival and all i could think of is Vday day because pink came into my mind immediately when i was thinking of the topic. so yeah hopefully my effort will not go down the drain.




While doing this ppt something came to my mind...

"You can do it.
All you need is a little bit more self-motivation, discipline and effort to make things work. Just.Don't.Give.Up. Because if you do then you'll see nothing at the end of the rainbow."

Okay. feel so drained now i need my beauty sleep!
NO more sleeping after 12am! bad for skin and health! hahaaa.
gotta start spamming body cream and face cream.
I AM SO LAZY.

GOOD NIGHT!

I am glad that i am almost there...

I had a really funny dream this morning. That might be the funniest one i dreamt of so far.(not that i rmb every single one of them) Had a good laugh when i woke up. I totally slept through my alarms... kept coughing in the night and i couldnt sleep well at all!! argh.

-> Angel where are you!!!

hahahaaa.

So many things undone and I wasted so much time dwelling on things that i shouldn't that i neglected the stuff that really needs my attention.

okay put that aside. gotta spam some photos before i go!

Unglam greeeedy picture hehe



But i am not the only greedy one who upsizez her mars bar hee.



Caught My Gf is an agent with them after school!


SYSYSYSYSYSYSYSYSYSYS! (:

SYS's cam died before i could take a photo with sue!

Choo's birthday chalet.

-> thomas was trying to pull jx off the bed. annoying little monster!!! ( and i secretly knows you are my angel hehe)


The whole clique :D

whooooo flour and cake attack from her poly friends.. we joined in too!!


Happy belated Choo! Hope you had a good time!

Swensenssssss


He actually fell asleep while waiting for the food to be served!!

C-I-A!!!!
haa jx i know you secretly admired thom!

Yesterday was ksc's birthday surprise visit from us.






thinking real hard what is inside!

there you go!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KSC!
Afterwards we went to her room and did our work plus gossip a little in msn! The only loser who didnt bring lappy is jos and that makes us easier to............ okay secret!

Almost the whole clique is there and this probably will be the last photo taken in xq's hse! shes moving to another place soooon.

okay sry guys i was really in a bad mood and the plan wasnt well planned. But well... small fights brings us closer right! (L) you guys!

After Itab lesson.... started to take photos with my phone! :D here are some of them!

Daryl seems like he is gonna use his wing chun moves on ains right!!




On the train..

hahahaha.

Last week ys accompanied me to get my phone and in the end we missed lect cause it was raining and we just feel very lazy :P so we went to eat dim sum (:
I cant upload the food photos :( the xlb and guo tiee is nice!

okay one last photo!



Relieved.
Those nightmares that creeps me awake are gone for now and won't be back till then.



Looking forward to christmas!

Hey andvballers,



All the best for As!

See you guys soon! (L)

ANYONE STILL OWE ME ANY PHOTOS PLS SEND IT TO ME SOON THANKS!

Thomasssss sent me this. I know you are there stupid blackie HAHA.


cheryl, see this? are you touched?


haha jocey the fat we did meet up after my birthday!! you goondu!


The 5 Gathering at Coasta Sands (Downtown)






DBA04 Chalet


My 18th(:


<3

Today i took some time off to think about us.
And i see nothing.

It may seem i am expecting too much because i am not used to making the first move hence it may seem demanding...
Oh well..

Now i feel so relax because i don't let my mind run wild, again.

Hia.

SO INDECISIVE

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT

PHONE

TO CHANGE!!

YAWNS I FEEL SO LAZY TO DO ANYTHING

HAHA YES!
DBA04 CHALET IS TMR TILL FRI!
CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE REST OF THE PEEPS TMR! C:
HAHA ACTUALLY I AM THINKING MORE ABOUT THE BBQ FOODS THAN THE PEOPLE :P HEHEHE


YEAH AND ONE MORE THING.
ADD ME AS FRIEND IF YOU WANNA SEE MY LOCKED ENTRIES.
MOST OF THE ENTRIES WILL BE LOCKED. YAH. LOCKED.

BYEBYE I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN TMR :D

Troubled. Not Trouble.

I feel so not-myself.

After so much had happened i just wish to be the one i used to be.

But since i had alrdy say so much had happened... i can't just revert back

because the reason is simple...

i can't give up halfway..

if i do then it means that i can Just.Die.


Hope those things i used to believe or still believe in will not turn into dust in the future.

THIS WHOLE THING IS MAKING ME GO CRAZY I SHOULD JUST SLEEP AND STOP THINKING TOO MUCH. BUT OTHER THAN THAT IS THERE ANOTHER WAY TO MAKE ME FEEL LESS............... TROUBLE?

I
REALLY
MISS
THE
OLD
DAYS
IN
ANDERSON
SECONDARY.


AND
THE
FOOD
IN
THE
CANTEEN,
ESPECIALLY
THE NOODLE STALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Clique girls met up in the morning to have breakfast at the coffee shop opposite school at 9am. Sad to see the chicken rice stall moved to somewhere else alrdy :( i like the chicken rice there leh! ji miss yi xia. hahaaaaa.

okay so after that we went to buy chicken essence for some of our teachers who taught us before! And we took some photos some of them too!

The school concert was like erm as usual. . .. . boring.

SAW JENNY LIM ! OMG FORGOT TO TAKE PEEKTURES WITH HER! argh. but nvm! played vb with her for awhileeee :D

met alot of other peeps too!

:D

okay spamming of photos time!


Mr Poh, our english and form teacher! Always joked about him and FC. hahahahaa.
Went up to our last year's classroom to take this picture!
Then...... random things came into my mind!
Ksc and me..... me and her... her and me... always bring home-cooked food to eat during recess IN CLASS! and once Major Chong walked past and caught me doing that! i think? or maybe its some other class mate. haha some of them started dapao-ing breakfast to school to eat in class also :P

I was sitting on lynette's left while jx's is sitting on her right.... And at that time me and jx werent talking because of some things.. HAHAH SUPER SILLY!!! then lynette will always seduce me during D&T classes. or rather every where she goes! haha okay i think i am making her sound like a pervert :P

That classroom really brings back all those sweet and sour moments!

next we went to the canteen to wait for Nicholas to take this photo! but jx and xq wento play bball alr...


then i remember that part of the clique at that time gave me vouchers for my 17th bday! haha that time was so awkward and i felt so ps cos i didnt expect them to give me anything! argh such a pity that they didnt celebrate my bday with me last year... NVM THIS YEAR WILL BE INTERESTING *winkkkkkk thousands time at them!*

I think anderson canteen's food is so much better than FC6!


HU LAO SHI!
OUR FAVORITE CHINESE TEACHER!



There was once our class drove this china chinese teacher away when we are only sec2 or 3 ? Then zheng lao shi came to teach us. we were so afraid of her cos heard that she was quite strict.. attire wise too!

MDM LIAO, poa teacher.
"CLASS AH..."


i like poa cos the teacher can teach. hahaha okay doesnt make sense. but poa is really not fun when you cannot balance the balance sheet leh.

THIS IS MISS LEOW! MY FAVOURITE MATH TEACHER!

teaches us for five years!!
eh i really miss her math lessons leh! I used to dread math extra lessons... okay who dont? but i still miss those O level preparation days studying at the library doing math with lyn,jos,jo and miss leow! :D
So happy to see her! :D

HAHA THIS SEE-SAW BRINGS BACK ALOT OF MEMORIESSSSSS LEH!
always sat on it whenever we walked back to class after PE lesson had ended!


eh i realise i cannot remember alot of things that happened last time leh :(

HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY TO ALL THE TEACHERS:D
and to all the teachers who had taught us,
YOU HAVE BEEN SUCH A GREAT TEACHER <3
Million thanks to all the effort and hard work that you put in teaching us and trust that you have in us (:

kkkkk there is still one more photos yet to upload from other people camera.


Why do i feel that something is missing!
Must be the holidays that is making me feel bored.

okay starting work tmr!
byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee